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Bat-Squirrel?

Tanya enjoys taking pictures of the squirrels that are found around my mother’s bird feeders. We had and unusual moment where a squirrel was determined to get munching from our feeder and Tanya happened to get an interesting picture of it. I have some potentially humorous captions below it. If you have a better caption post it.

  • “I am Bat-Squirrel.”
  • *waves a tiny paw and says* “This is not the squirrel you’re looking for.”
  • “Squirrel? What Squirrel?”
  • “Crap!”
  • “Maybe they will not notice me if I stay still?”
  • “Maybe, if I ignore them they will go away?”

New Yoga Classes and Hand-made Jewelry

New Yoga Classes

In addition to the Mixed Level Yoga Class that she teaches on Saturday and Sunday, Tanya has started to teach 2 more Yoga classes on Monday nights. She is teaching an Advanced Yoga Class in Silence (Level II) followed by a Meditation Class.

Hand-made Jewelry

She also enjoys creating necklaces, earrings, and so on and is going to start selling them through the Yoga studio. We are also considering selling them through EBay. The necklaces are made primarily of stones which have an accompanying explanation for what the stone is said to effect:

Lapis Lazuli
Lapis relives headaches and migraines, skin disorders and anxiety, and aids problems with lymph glands, ears, and eyes. It calms the nervous system reducing inflammation and pain.
Rhodonite
Recommended for healing bones and scar tissue, relieving autoimmune conditions, ulcers, lesion, and skin conditions, especially allergies. It is also good for mental scars. It prevents you from repeating old mistakes and will prevent you from doing so again. It can be used as a focused for sending positive energy to people made homeless by war or hurt by buried land mines.
White Holite (Magnesite)
Relates to skeleton, bones, teeth and to the absorption of necessary minerals. It strengthens the effects of basic health care and fitness programs.
Category: Jewelry, Yoga  4 Comments

Trip to Cancun (Day 6 of 9; Thursday)

Today is spa day. We arranged for a day to go check out a not so local spa as a benefit for checking out the Time Share crap. The van leaves the hotel at 09:30 (9:30am). We got up, showered, ate breakfast, and then went down to wait for our transportation. The small van arrived a little early and we left at about 09:45 (9:45am).

This van ride was quite long and was past where the snorkeling trip was the previous day. It was long bus ride (over 40 minutes), but we arrived without any problems. Once we got there we were ushered out of the van and brought into the front desk where we signed in. They brought forth a person to give us a tour and show us what all is available for us to enjoy in their 3 floor building.

Building Description

Waterfall in lobby of a Cancun Spa.

Waterfall in lobby of a Cancun Spa.

The first floor was the front desk, and it had a cave like motif to it. There was as 3 floor water fall in the lobby area which was really cool to see. The open courtyard/lobby/front desk area also had rock wall to climb, but it not look like it was open for business. They also had a nice hot pool here. A small garden was outside that you could walk in.

The second floor had their really large and labyrinthine bathrooms/changing room/private male only/female only jacuzzi/whirlpool/lounge area, as well as a small lounge, dry hot and cold saunas, as well as massage rooms (which were extra).

The third floor had pool with a jacuzzi on the roof as well deck side hammocks and comfy chairs. They last thing that was on the roof was a healthy restaurant.

Our Day

We started by going to change. We went to our respect bathroom areas. This area was huge and I really got lost in it. The bathroom stalls looked just like the shower stalls. They had nice half lockers made of wood with keys that were in a strap for you to take. The private spa there was nice and big with jacuzzi and sauna for only men. I changed and then went out to meet the wife to start touring the first floor.

Hot Bubbly Pool at Spa

We went down to the main floor to take a look around. Our first stop was the pool. The pool was really warm especially with our sunburns as bad as they were. We were quite a bit temperature sensitive at this point. It took us a little bit of time to get in but once we did it was really, really warm. The side nearest to door had a jacuzzi like thing going on and a bed of bars that you could lay on so that you could just lay there and enjoy the bubbles. That was really relaxing. The far side had three really small waterfalls or streams of water flowing from the wall.

Next, we started by checking out the dry cool sauna. It used menthol to cool the air and to tighten your pores. It was interesting. I cannot say much more than that as it did not effect me so very much. Tanya liked it a lot.

We then went to the dry hot sauna. I do not remember what they used for this, I think it was mint based somehow. It may have just been hot rocks. This, as the cool sauna, was not so intense as I was expecting. There were several tiles missing a one fell out while were sitting here.

Following that Tanya went to practice some Yoga on a covered balcony area. While she did that I read a book and relaxed. She finished practicing sooner than she would have liked because there was a little too much activity in the are for her to really concentrate. She could have locked the door and had permission to do so, but did not feel comfortable doing so.

Rooftop Paradise at Spa

Rooftop Paradise at Spa

Once we got the Yoga out of our system we went to the third floor and Tanya swam in the pool for a while. I was nursing my sunburn so I did not. I sat in a hammock and just watched her have fun swimming.

By this time we were getting really hungry and it was not too much longer before we would have to leave. We looked at a restaurant menu but decided that we would wait until we got back to eat.

We were so tired and a bit hungry by the time that we left. We were so very glad to be heading back to the hotel so we could recover from such a relaxing day. Relaxing so intensely is exhausting. We barely talked on our way back to the hotel.

When we returned to the hotel we went to eat at the buffet and then went to bed at about 20:00 (8:00pm). Not an overly exciting day to write about, but that is what happened. I suppose I could try to write in a chase scene! That would be fun. =)

Aliens vs. Predator: Requim (Review – B)

To put this a little in perspective I watched the first three Aliens movies this week and I think I was sitting a few rows too close to the front. I had heard a little bit about the plot online – specifically that it breaks from canon a little bit.

Aliens vs Predator: Requiem was fun to watch. The character action of the humans did not detract for me as some have said. There were plenty of Aliens to look at and a prominent Predator. They introduced some new Predator technology (as far as I know) which was cool. I cannot say that it wowed me but it was fun to watch. The ending had me asking a question. I am hoping that they did not do that so that they had room to make a sequel. They have not found someone to do either the Alien or Predator franchise real justice since the orignals.

The original Predator movie rocked. I played the original ‘AVP: Aliens vs Predator’ game as a Predator and loved it. The PG-13 ‘AVP: Aliens vs Predator’ movie was fun to watch, but it was PG-13; need I say more. ‘Predator 2′ was decent and the ending was interesting. The first 3 Alien movies were tense and great.

Alvin and the Chimpmunks (Review – C+)

We went to see Alvin and the Chimpmunks” because this was the only movie that we could agree upon and see before she went to work. The movie that we would have preferred to see was “The Golden Compass“. There are a lot of movies that I want to go see, but, guys, you know what I am talking about. =)

My wife was expecting this to be one that she would end up wanting to rent, and at the end that is what she thought. I grew up watching the cartoon and I was afraid of how this was going to turn out, but I was not disappointed. We both enjoyed the movie well enough and if you have kids they will enjoy it.

If it is just you and the guys or you and the girls – wait and rent it. If it is just you and the kids – sure give it a spin

Movie Review Background

Me

Here is some information about us so that you can put our reviews in perspective:

I am a guy and I really like guy movies. I am also a geek and I like geeky things, especially those that are about computers and fantasy. I like action, adventure, guns, violence, Martial Arts, and special effects; a plot helps too. I grew up on ninja and vampire movies, as well as action and adventure.

Some of my favorite movies are Lord of the Rings, Matrix, Star Wars (IV, V, VI), Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, White Men Can’t Jump, Saw, Unbreakable, Identity, Enemy at the Gates, Hackers, Sixth Sense, Pitch Black, A Knights Tale, Scent of a Woman, Legend, From Hell, 300, and Romeo Must Die.

The Wife

My wife is a woman (imagine that); not only that but she is also Belarussian so she European tastes. She likes chick flicks: romance, comedy, a little bit of suspense is OK, and she likes some semblance of realism.

Some of her favorite movies: Wimbledon, Prime, P.S. I Love You, Sabrina, Pretty Woman, and Stranger Than Fiction.

I am Ordained

On May 25, 2007 I became an ordained minister for the Universal Life Church. Why did it do that? That is a good question and I am going to try to answer it, at least a little bit, here. Some will laugh and some will cry (at the apparent absurdity) when reading this, and that is OK. =)

Religion, theology, spirituality or whatever you would like to call it is a person seeking that answer to the question that plagues each and every person in one way or time or another. Some have the strength to look for the answers themselves and some do not. Some are happy being told what to believe and some find satisfaction in their own pursuit to the answer. I have not really cared either way until the last few years when I began my own little search to find my answers. Will I ever truly find the answer? Just like everyone else – No, I shall not. Will I find the answers that make sense to me and sate my need for more answers? I certainly hope so.

There are things that I have thought and read about (from civil rights and relationships to religion) and conclusions that I have come to (but I will discuss them at a later time), and being guided by my home in Unitarian Universalism which has an penchant for lay lead services, I found this ordainment path rather appropriate for me.

Becoming ordained, is in some way, a personal affirmation that I am in charge of my spiritual journey and that no one else can travel it for me. I am responsible for my beliefs and no one can tell me what to believe. (Well, they can, but that does not mean that I will be a believer.) I must decide and discover what truths resonate inside me. Others may assist me along my journey by helping me to discover what I believe, but let them not condemn me for not partaking fully what is true in their own heart, for in each person lays their own truth and only they have the power to discover and unleash it.

I have semi-recently performed my first wedding ceremony and wow was I nervous. I am happy and more than willing to perform services for (and I support) those of the ‘LGBT+P‘ persuasion.

Happy New Year!!

I am gong to post a little about our New Year experience. As some of you may have gathered my wife is Belarussian and we have quite a few Russian friends. In the former Soviet Republics the dominant religion is Russian Orthodox and Christmas is not the biggest holiday of the year. It seems that New Years is the big holiday for them, and not only that but the Russian Orthodox Christmas is January 7 (not December 25, which I think stems from the fact that they have kept with the Julian Calendar instead of the standard Gregorian Calendar for some religious practices).

I have heard that for New Years people get dressed up in costumes and go from house to house, have large meals, get together with family and friends, and give presents on New Years. Their Christmas (January 7) is more like a subdued Thanksgiving here (as I have been told).

We had some friends over, which totaled approximately 6 people at our house for our New Years celebration, with me being the only native English speaker. =) Tanya and a coworker finished with work at about 23:30 (11:30pm) or so and we went to pick them up getting home with enough time for them to relax a little and prepare to have some fun. The girls did a lot or preparation during the day while I was at work, and did most of the cooking after they finished work.

I spent some time redesigning my church’s website while the cooking was being done. There was not so much I could do to help them cook. I asked a few times, but they firmly had everything in hand.

Once everyone got home and changed we ate a little, drank, and prepared for midnight roll around. Once it did we tried to watch it in from a recording in Belarus via the internet and then watch it live on TV in New York. We all drank and toasted, once we were able to get the bottle open. Following that we all exchanged gifts which was cool. Then we closed the night by watching ‘Save the Last Dance‘ Both my wife and her coworker had danced a lot and they love dance movies. Since there were 2 guys and 4 girls present we certainly weren’t going to be watching a guy movie. Earlier, while the girls were taking care of the cooking and food preparation, the guys were watching ‘The Crow‘ which is a hell of a great movie.

Our New Years was relaxing and quiet, and was spent with good people.

"Class 2i"

So we stand there in front of my new flat in Belize. I have just upgraded my Domicile Class Rating (DCr) to 5 and we moved to here from Austria. I speak English, Austrian, and, strangely enough, Latin. In our times we are required to speak at least 3 languages and it is good for the mind and very good for such a globalized civilization. Schooling is free. Medical care is free. Basic travel is free to all around the world. Basic food access is free. Basic housing is free. World Web access is free and ubiquitous. Everyone has access to a Personal Communication Center (PCC) via a public terminal or most have a Personal Communication Device (PCD) of sorts. Basic PCD access is gained at Class Two or higher. I am a Standard Class 3 with a new DCr 5.

All people are granted a basic access to a shelter, food, clothes, schooling, and medical care at Class 1 Access and everyone in the world has Class 1 access. You do not have to work if you do not want to, but if you do something that provides a service or product of worth to society you can gain a class upgrade and and increase in access to better food, housing, and other things. Some people make living as writers, researchers, dockworkers, preachers, jewelers, teachers, manufacturers, artists and many other professions.

All the world is open and free. There are no longer national borders. Money as was known before does not exist. People now have Access Levels. The better a service or product you provide the more access you can earn, and depending on the demand for your service or product you may always have improved access. You may trade a Standard Access Increase for a specific access increase in a different area such as housing. I just gained a Standard Class Increase 4 to and traded it in for a Class 5 Domicile rating. After a long period of time I may gain the class 4 Standard Rating back, but it may be a long while. This Class Rating trade is something similar to what you would refer to the effect a loan would have. I give up an increase in general access to services and products of a certain level for a greater increase in another area.

Moving is easy. I just call the World Housing Authority and tell them that I no longer need my flat in Austria and I wish one in Belize. They make the arrangements and when I get there my flat was set up with clothes, food and so on in a very similar matter as I was set up in Austria. I do not always have the choice in flats that I want given my low level of access but I do have some choice. If I want my stuff moved from there to here I could have arranged for that as well. Life is good here on earth.

What do I do for a living you ask? Well, I am a Class 3 Dock Worker with a Class 2 Foreman Specialization in Small Commercial Aquatic Dock Facilities which upgrades me to a Class 4 Standard. I have primarily worked for small dock firms and am looking for work in a larger dock facility so I can upgrade my specialization to Large Dock Foreman which could mean a Standard Class Increase of two. That would be great. We are required to take tests to achieve rankings in a job, as well, of course, as experience doing the job. Once we apply for a class upgrade our peers are interviewed as well as are our bosses and then we are tested randomly and then we achieve our upgrade. Sometimes upgrades can be recommended from excellent performance. That is not common, but does happen to those that do really well at their job.

Patents no longer exist and research done is available to all of humanity and resources and man power are pooled to research things quickly and efficiently. Organizations that wish to work on research in radiation shielding let the World Research Department know their intent and they are hooked up with others that are doing the same. The newcomers discuss what their thoughts are and find out if that has already been done and where to go from there. They are told where the best and most available facilities are to start this research and what databases to log their information and results in so that the rest of the community may benefit from the fruits of their labor.

Advances in research and development are quickly disseminated throughout the world and old plants and products are upgraded or recycled. New upgrades are available to those with a higher level access and older products work their way down the access chain.

I have also worked hard and traded in quite a few Standard Class upgrades to achieve and Class 2i, which means that if I chose to not ever work again I will always have Class 2 access. It is sometimes referred to as Class 2 Infinity. It is sort of like prepping for what you would refer to as retirement.

Flurry of Posts

I do not know what my problem is, but for some reason since we have been back from our little stint in Cancun I have been having the urge to post a lot. I have posted so much that some of the posts are no longer on the front page. So if you want to fully experience this month of posting craziness you will need to check the archives for this month which is December in case you were wondering. =)

Category: Misc  Leave a Comment

Significant Browser News (IE and Netscape)

For those of my readers who care, and I know that you do, there is some significant news in the internet web browser world. For many of you most of this will make absolutely no sense or you will not care in the slightest and this text will be a complete waste of space. For those of you who are technophiles or internet phreaks you may find the following an interesting and telling turn of events.

AOL is discontinuing development of their Netscape browser, and Microsoft’s new browser to be, Internet Explorer 8 (IE 8), passes the Acid 2 test. What does this mean to you?

AOL is stopping development and suggests that its users move over to using the Firefox browser. I have been using Firefox since when it was in beta stages and known as Phoenix. Firefox is the browser of choice for serious web developers because it is standards compliant, and a lean and mean little browsers. Internet Explorer has been universally reviled by the developer community and some savvy users for many years and because of this Firefox has gained great traction and due to disaffected Internet Explorer users. With Netscape no longer there to split up developers and user base Firefox should gain more popularity and developers. Yea! This is good news all around I am thinking. If you do not have Firefox, then Get It!

I am going to bitch about Internet Explorer for a little bit so you can get some perspective on why the Internet Explorer news may be so significant. I am a web developer and I hate Internet Explorer with a passion. I am surprised that I have any hair left and that I have not killed someone yet. I can develop a page that is semantically correct, valid, and using proper design techniques and it will not work in Internet Explorer. Gaaahhhh!!! When I am doing web work I design something right, test it in Firefox, Opera, and then Safari, and then I wince when I look at it in Internet Explorer (IE). It takes hours and hours or hacking and coding – sometimes it even requires some scripting to correct the horrible mess that IE renders. IE is the worst part of designing web pages.

Ok, so you got it. IE sucks and web developers hate it. There are more reasons for their hate but I am not going to go into it. What is this Acid 2 test and why do I care? The Acid 2 test is a test created by the Web Standards Project that when rendered by a browser correctly will show compliance with some very important web standards. It is more complicated than this, but that is the gist of it. For many years IE has not been even close to this. IE 7 which is fairly new is close and is a great step. With IE 8, which is not out yet, compliant the developer community will rejoice, especially when all of their userbase upgrades.

Please do you self a favor, as well as the developers of your favorite sites, upgrade to IE 7 now if you are a IE user, and even if you are download Firefox and take that for a spin. If you are at work you may want to talk to your MIS peeps or your computer person to be sure that it is OK.

The FedEx Experience

So, I mentioned earlier that the Royal Holiday people in Hyatt in Cancun told us that we should take the Royal Holiday welcome package back to the US since we had to send it back to their home office in Miami.

"Orkjager: The Dwarves of the Midden Alps"

I wrote this after being inspired by one of the other characters in our party. I stopped writing this because the gamed ended. There is a lot of DnD’isms that I am not going to explain, but I may someday try to explain or add definitions to it.

The Story

Fluffy white clouds are plentifully interspersed amidst the snow covered peaks that cut into the blue sky like razor sharp knives. The clouds block direct sunlight in a playful game of tag. In the distance you can hear the deep throaty screech of great eagles soaring on the mountain wind searching for all those that invade its domain. Here, far above the treeline, there are no trees and very little plant life to be found, you might find and occasional scrub bush and lichen or moss but that is about it. Barren, sharp, jagged and stark is what life is like here in the Midden Alps, not to say that there is nothing here, because there is… Life here is cold, harsh and deadly and you need to be tough as the mountains themselves to survive. Tough as mountains is exactly what the dwarves of the Blackhammer Clan are.

“The Midden Alps…such a wonderful place to call home.” Brogan AxeSpitter thought to himself as he smiles to himself. “Cool, crisp mountain air to energize the lungs and keep you going.” Brogan’s mid wanders some more, his face a mask of deep concentration, but his brother knows better. The whipping mountain wind throwing his 4 braided short black beard to and fro. His thick winter cloak keeps the biting wind mostly at bay and rest has been taken care of by a swig of Blackstone Blackmead. His expression turns from deep concentration to one of surprise and mild pain as the trail-chanter Mrodgar, his older brother, whacks him on the back of the head and bellows out a trail-chant to everyone in a deep rumbly voice

“Hrruuummmmm… Hrruuummmmm…..

Deep inside the dark’s tuuummmmm…. tuuummmmm”

“Earth-rush is found and the glory
of making rruuummmm… rruuummmm”

All people within earshot of his chant, which is about eveyone, come to a dead stop in mid-march to look at him. A look of complete disbelief and shock fills their faces.

“What!!” he said surprisingly and with a hint of fear. “A real dwarf does not drink rum, that is for those tree-hugg’n elves to drink.” is what is father has alway said with disdain at the mere thought of any dwarf drinking rum, let alone his own sons. Mrodgar liked the taste of Faule Starshine Rum. He did not understand what the big deal was.

Their father, Gargarock Axespitter, lowered his head in disbelief and walked slowly forward toward the confused Mrodgar. Gargarock patted him gently on the back and ushered him forward back in line with the other dwarves. Mrodgar, now cowed and embarrassed at his chant, walks slowly with his head down, like a dog with his tail between his legs, back in line. Gargarock clears his throat, straightens himself out, and then takes a deep breath slouching his shoulders slightly.

As he straightens himself out beginning to chant a low rumbling that seems to come from every direction at once and emanate from the very mountain walls rolls forth. A gravely, earthly tone spoken in the language of the mountains fills the air and permeates every dwarf there. All dwarves close their eyes and take in the very essence of the mountain instilled into them by Gargarock’s mountain chant. They turn back to the path and begin to march forth to their destination; the new found earth-rush on the border of the Greyfang ork tribe’s territory.

Earth-rush in the form of a vein of rubies was found by a daring and adventurous scout looking for earth-rush in places he should not be. The clan elders chastised him for endangering himself and possibly attracting the attention of the Greyfang tribe with which they war with constantly. After the stern and unabated lecture finished, a look of greed and potential crept into their eyes. A larger scouting part was sent to verify the earth-rush vein and the returned without incident. The team reported the vein looks promising and there has been some Greyfang activity in the area a while ago, maybe 2 fortnights or more.

Following that news the clan elders arranged for a larger party to go to the earth-rush vein and determine its potential to be mined – to see if the vein will be worth the risk and possibly set up a mining camp. They assambled some of there best warriors, miners and scouts to go survey the new earth-rush vein. Mrodgar and Brogan were Gargarock’s sons and were among the fifty some dwarves making the journey. Brogan just came of age in the last few months and was eager to join such a company. He was promising and talented miner – having quite the nose for gems.

Mrodgar and Brogan have heard stories about the adventures that survey teams have had in the past and were eager try their hands at one. Looking forward to seeing the greatest and largest vein ever know in clan history; blooding their war-axes, which are gifts forged by their father, and any other of the wonderous variety of adventures that survey teams have. The pair have been looking forward to this for a long time and begged and pleaded with their father to let them go with. Garagarock relented the night before the survey team left as he found out that two of the miner’s became sick and could not go.

The earth-rush is about 4 days travel marching by foot, one of which is through the FangHammer sub-range of the Midden Alps where the Greyfang tribe calls home. They patrol ceratin areas vigilantly – the areas nearest where our lands border. This cavern, named Dwal Mown which means ‘Dwarf’s promising vein that amounts to nothing’ in the common tongue, is in an area not well patrolled by the Greyfang tribe. Hopefully we can arrive at Dwal Mown and setup a small mining operation before patrols come around. After we get rooted in we will be able to take care of any Greyfang lime-rock that come a patrol’n.

Forty members strong all armed with studded leather to breastplate armor, crossbows, axes, picks, hammers, and trap setting and mining equipment. We have well bred mountain goats as pack animals. You laugh now at the thought of a war-goat, but imagine a war-goat charging you and pushing you over a ledge falling to your doom. Horses and other traditional beasts of burden are too big for this terrain and mountain goats jump and maneuver around the jagged rocks as a well as halfling walks through the meadows. Imagine a hellish bleating swarm of cantankerous, fearless beasts ramming foes into an orchestrated chaos with dwarves as the maestros. There is nothing like the sound of a bleating war-ram followed by *crack*, and then the sound of a scream fading into the darkness below.

We dwarves tread slowly but steadily, undeterred by all but the mightiest of hazards. Our path to Fools Vein will take us quite a bit beyond our normal patrol borders and just inside Greyfang territory. We do not fear them, it is they that should fear us. A dwarven mining party and earth-rush can be a dangerous thing to be standing between. Some of us are a little bit nervous, not that we would show it, as there are those that think something vile is a brew’n because the Greyfangs have been quiet in the last few months.

"Orkjager: First Two Rounds of Combat"

I wrote a small narrative to the first two rounds of combat/ I was inspired so I started to write. There is a lot of DnD’isms that I am not going to explain, but I may someday try to explain or add definitions to it.

The Story

After a long hard day with the trudging caravan train, your mind feels the tiredness of watching the same thing all day – morning, afternoon, and into the night. You have seen the same on all sides of you trees to the left, trees to the right, wagon in front of you and wagon in back of you. You hear the rhythmic squeaking of not so well fitted axles of wagons, the clomping of hooves of horses pulling wagons or carrying a sagging rider, and a short conversation that rarely pops up. Most have succumbed to the mind numbing pall of monotony to not speak and just trudge on hoping to soon see the end of their journey the frontier city Faule.

Towards early morning ominous dark gray clouds quickly take their place over the caravan and seem to follow a cruel script to ensure a miserable journey. In a way you welcome the clouds as they bring a change, a little something to break the sameness of seeming to march on for the sake of marching on. The temperature drops noticeably and it cools down quite a bit; enough to make you want to reach for some warmer clothes, and clothes possibly better suited for the coming rain.

Black clouds have shrouded your day in darkness so now everything is even more the same than it was before. There is darkness and everything is darker. There is less to see now and that which you do see is covered in the shadows of the foreboded rain. Sunlight occasionally peaks through the black clouds in an almost divine moment. As if Pelor himself is granting relief from the darkness, coldness, and storm to come. That is but a brief moment as the sun loses its epic battle with the storm clouds and shadows once again cover the land.

The rain starts to pour down as if the world is trying to purge itself of the putrescent will of settlers looking for a new start, the desire and hope of something new. It seems as if the very world is against you trying to keep you from change; wanting to drown you in a sea of water, cold and a nothingness. The temperature drops even more; a cool breeze starts as the rain falls. A cold wetness permeates your very being and the sound of rain drones out all else and it is hard to see anything more than a few feet in front of you. The oppressive darkness, rain and cold turning the world into more of the same. You close your eyes and attune yourself to the will of the march, the rhythm of the caravan and you march on. Drear and gloom are your companions; isolation and nothingness are the gifts they bear.

It rains and rains for most of the day, from mid morning and on into the early night. You thought that it might never end just as Pelor himself wins a great battle seeming to banish the clouds; the temperature rises and the rain is reduced to a fine mist. The temperature rises quite a bit, enough for you to want to shed you warmer clothes and take in the warming rays of the sun. A warm mist replaces the rain and a fog seems to roll from the ground as the sun begins to warm the ground. It seems like a strange combination to you, the warm cloudless mist and rolling fog. The sun cuts through the fog and mist like a beacon of joy and warmth. Your bones seem to drink it up and you can almost feel the bitter cold and wetness start to recede. The sun reflects off the fog creating a wall of fluffy whiteness making hard to see more than a few feet ahead of you. You rely mostly on feeling the rhythm of the caravan to guide you forward. You find the ground muddy and wet as those wagons, horses and people that have come before you tear up the ground and let the water create a long trail of mud two or three inch deep for you to muck through.

A cooler light rain starts again and seems to dampen the fog a little bit as night seems to slowly creep upon you. Darkness firmly set itself upon the caravan and you find yourself cold, tired, and your body aches from walking or riding and you wish a reprieve from the endless march to the glory of Faule. A whistle pierces the silence and echoes from group of guards to group of guards. Like a wave of sound starting from the front of the caravan and rolling all of the way to the back bringing the promise of rest and an end to the march. The Caravan Master’s call for a halt and rest for the night was welcomed by everyone and you could feel a large weight being lifted, and the air seems to clear as sprits are lifted with thoughts of rest and sleep.

When the whistling resides people start to move about, welcoming the change in movement. Instead of a forward walk permeated by an unending cool dampness we get to stop and mill about, pick things up and talk. The settlers stretch, yawn, sigh, and slowly break out the gear for night time; fires are started, bedrolls and rolled out, and tents are set up. Guards work on setting a perimeter and assisting people in setting up camp. Some settlers go out to search for more food and wood to be dried for the next time the caravan stops.

The poised relaxation and contentness is broken by primal cries and screams as new creatures charge in to fill the empty spaces. Large brutal creatures wielding huge axes with doom on their breath and in their eyes. Axes fall and horses whinny and rear up as an orkish horde charges into the midst of the caravan in a howling frenzy of violence. You hear women screaming, children crying, and the dying screams of men cleaved asunder. The orks attack the nearest person they see and try to carry off women and take horses. The moment of such a severe change from a bland nothingness to pure chaos catches everyone by surprise. Your senses having been dulled by the march and you find it hard to process what exactly is happening. Through the mist and darkness you can see less than a handful of raiders doing their business and seem to be unconcerned that there might be someone here that could pose a threat to their orkish invasion.

A slight smile crosses Franky’s face as the realization that boredom has just been banished. He looks to the wet and dour Dagmar whose face instantly changes from a wet tactiturness to an almost maniacal glee as the realization that Orks had come for their death. Franky’s smile grows even larger and he says “Here we go…” while looking to Felicity and Dagmar, and he is curious to see what his new found companions can do. Franky’s hands, slick from rain, wanders to his saddle bags and pulls out his crossbow and readies it to be loaded. He begins and old chant about a dwarven warlord hoping to see the glory of the axe wielding dwarven heroes in Dagmar’s arm.

With great enthusiasm Dagmar pulls about his Dwarven waraxe and charges the nearest ork and completely over shoots the creature, his zeal getting the best of him. The ork passing by him seems to take no notice of the dwarven fury that could have just ended its existence. The dwarve’s axe bites into the ground and its cold-iron blade sparks as it catches a rock.

In an excited and worried rush Felicity pulls out her crossbow and fires at the nearest ork she can see, missing completely seeming to underestimate the speed of the orkish attackers. A concerned frustration sets upon her face as she drops the crossbow to the wagon seat. Her practiced fingers seek something more comfortable and familiar – her pouch of spell components…

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At the head of the caravan the simultaneous reaction of Koric and Percy is uncanny and empowering. They react to the orkish invaders in very similar ways, knowing that there is strength in numbers, they seek to strenghten the many to ensure they can last the fight.

Koric’s powerful voice booms “Lo, I hear the roars of the orken hoards! Steady yourself, Percy, for this day many orcs will rue the day they face us!” Koric brandishes the symbol of Pelor as if it was reason enough for the orks retreat; a fierce resolve that all salvation lies in the glory and light of Pelor. Koric roars “Pelor, heed my call! Grant us a swift and rightous victory in your name!” and the very air seems to be filled with energy and people in the area seem to feel as if the very will of Pelor guides them and gives them strength.

Percy says more to himself than to anyone in particular “So much for this being a safe area; and for our flankers.” He pulls his mind from focusing on the world at large and concentrates in the way that he has been taught. He draws confidence and an air of command seemingly from nowhere and shouts “Strike hard lads and take your openings”. His command of the field battle and the shout of a commanding prescence on the field pushes the guards and settlers on. He yells “Come on, give ‘em some back.” not wanting to speak with too much military jargon as few here would understand. Percy’s tactical minds seeks a common ground from which the orks attack hoping to find a weakness in their plan. He pulls his bow about and fires towards the charging wave of orks. The arrow loses itself in the night and seems to give the viewing settlers more confidence and pushes them to hit harder.

The effect of a the commanding prescence of Percy and the blessing of Pelor fills the battlefield and the settlers fight on knowing that there are competent adventurers about.

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A slience falls over Lindal as he quickly and carefully weaves his way through the scattering settlers like a hungry cat hunting his prey. Determination fills his eyes as he deftly slips his quarterstaff from its back holster and attempts to crush the ork’s skull in one smooth movement. His staff slams into the ground and dirt shoots up all around as it misses its target, his eyes never leaving his prey as the hunt has not ended. The speed of this ork is deceiving and it is not a mistake he shall make again.

After seeing Dagmar of the Clanging Armor swing and completely miss the ork Franky thinks to himself “…born to such weapons…?”

Dagmar swirls his dwarven forged death-dealer menacingly through the air as he snarls at the ork and then shouts “That’s your last warning ork, release the woman or the next one takes your head off.”.

Worry continues to distort Franky’s cherubic face as he fumbles around to load his crossbow and continues the Dwarven Chant of the Valar Dwarves. His keen eyes searching for the biggest threat to the struggling threesome and levels the crossbow marking his prey.

Not taking kindly to being ignored by the ork, Dagmar follows through on his threat taking a big two-handed swing partially severing the orks neck. Its body slumps to the ground with the face stuck in an expression that is half snarl and half confusion. Blood splatters on the ground and on dwarven armor; it spills onto the ground forming a crimson pool of the orks life essence.

“I warned ye!” Dagmar said confidently with a smile.

"Come on ye cowardly sows! Leave off the wimmen an bairns an face a real dwarf!”

Dagmar says to himself “I’ll need to ‘ave the lad, Lindal, teach me orkish. It’s not worth taunting opponents in combat who cannot understand ye.”

Felicity’s hands weave through the air, as if she is gathering floating pollen. Swirling motes of light begin to coalesce in front of her as she concentrates on the weave and the spell pattern she instinctively understands. The motes of light concentrate into a single bright point and she lets out a wild shout, “Bite of the Rat!” The light seems to scurry through the air like a thousand tiny ravenous rats rushing to eat the only slice of cheese left in existence. You could swear you heard the scurrying and gnawing of rats as the light impacted the ork’s shoulder causing it to visibly give under the force of the spell. The ork grunts loundly and turns toward the source of its pain eyes flaring with savage rage. The ork, seeming not to care, lowers its wounded shoulder and rushes towards her.

Felecity looks at the frenetic melee surrounding her and begins to worry. Her left hand grips the handle of her scimitar so tightly her knuckles turn white. “Franky! Where are the others? Can you see them? Should we run?” With the satisfaction of the success of Rats Bite her right hands goes back into her component pouches, preparing to unleash more of the wrath of the Green Path.

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“Fear not, Percy, for my arm shall aide yours!” Koric roars as he raises his heavy mace in the air and swings it in a deceptive and seemingly wide path from the upper right. The ork does comprehend the what is about to befall and dodges to the left just a little thinking itself safe. Koric’s mace smashes against the ork’s ribs in a crushing horizontal slant. The ork folds over the force of the blow and slumps hard to the ground. Koric’s eyes light up as he quells his foe.

“Friend Dagmar!” he yells hoping that his dwarf friend can hear him. “Everyone! Protect the women and children!” He looks around for the next target who wishes to experience Pelor’s wrath. Koric raises his mace to the sky and shouts “Praise Pelor! First blood!”

“They bleed like anything else!” Percy states in a matter-of-fact yet jubillant manner as he sees Koric’s ork fold to the ground. The cleric’s display of martial prowess is enough to distract him from his own oppenent and his arrow goes wide. “Focus, focus.” He says quietly to himself.

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Lindal’s eyes were full of an anger that none of his companions from last night would have recognised. His quiet demeaner belies a silent rage within. The hunter spun around swinging the quarterstaff over his head like a two handed sword, never missing a beat. The resounding sound of a sickening crunch announced the staff as it connected with the orks head crushing it, not stopping untill it reached the collar bone. The ork’s corpse slid silently down the length of the staff leaving a bloody trail and silently lay to rest on the ground.

"Orkjager: A New Beginning"

I wrote this as an introduction to a Play By Post game that I was in and it quickly died during March of 2005. I was inspired so I started to write, and this is much better than the Ceramic DM entries that posted earlier. At least I hope it is. There is a lot of DnD’isms that I am not going to explain, but I may someday try to explain or add definitions to it.

The Story

The 9th of Sutar is a day like any other spring day in Vormarsch. The sun rises early, as it always does in the spring, and the sky is moderately clouded. The birds are singing and flying about on the cool breeze that carries the smell of spring tainted by dried fish, leather, horses and freshly cut wood. The sounds of creaking wagons, whinnying horses and the chattering voices of many people can be heard outside of the South Gate. The Markin Company’s caravan gathers outside and eager voices full of anticipation and a tense excitement fills the air. Small pavilions are setup for the caravan masters to answers questions and to decide on the logistics of their forthcoming journey.

A voice that reminds you of circus ringleader carries over the dim roar of talking and movement to announce “The time to start life in a new place is what living is all about, ladies and gentleman. Change!! Here is you once in a life time chance to start over…and the Markin Company’s caravan is your answer!! You…” The rest of what he says is drowned out as the crowd starts to clap and begins to talks amongst themselves.

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Morgan’s form gracefully weaves his way through the crowd to a particular pavilion to register his family and wagon. He finishes this then quickly and quietly finds his way back to the wagon with his wife, son, and Phaelis. They appear somewhat distracted and nervous and try to use some small talk to break the tension. Phaelis is dressed very conservatively, not at all in the luxurious formfitting manner that she wore before. She now wears clothes that you would expect Endar to wear – muted, dull and not at all memorable. Her hair is pulled up and hidden in hood of her cloak, and not a trace of perfume to be found. This is an entirely different look for her, very different.

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As the train starts out people are excited and talk about how starting life in Faule will change their lives and how it will make it better. Children playing in the wagons are soon chastised by their parents for fear of them breaking something. Lone travelers that happen to be within a conversation’s distance of someone offer a few moments of small talk and then gravitate into familiar groups. Settlers that see people they know arrange to change positions in the wagon train to maintain some sense of familiarity. As the day goes on the duration of the trip settles on everyone and a tense quiet hangs about the caravan. All that can be heard is the squeaking of wagon axles or the occasional whinnying and snorting of horses.

As you move farther and farther from Vormarsch the lands become rougher and more wild. The scenery moves from small rolling fields and small copses of bare trees to broad expanses of hilly plains and small forests full of bare trees. The roads become progressively worse as the distance increases from the capital city. A smooth hard-packed road becomes a rocky, muddy, jutted wagon path that has barely seen use. Your smooth ride becomes a bumpy and noisy and your butt becomes numb as you fidget to try to keep some feeling. Naked forests, devoid of leaves, seem to be alive and watch you curiously as you pass by hoping that you might bravely venture into their midst to an unknown fate.

The caravan stops several times to take care of problems that pop-up – a stuck wheel, a pet that becomes restless. In these moments caravaners take the time to adjust the order of wagons as some have requested and to give a small speech to pick up everyone’s spirits. The caravan guards help to quickly resolve problems and they watch everyone carefully looking for signs of trouble. Their wary eyes keep a careful watch on the surrounding lands for problems like the ever growing wolf population and ork raiders.

The sun wanders in and out of the clouds all day long giving you warmer and cooler moments.

It seems to take an eternity for it to travel across the sky to the western horizon. It feels as if it is intently watching the caravan, not wanting to miss anything that happens, trying delay the inevitable sunset. The sun finally relents as white clouds thicken above before it starts to dip below the horizon. When the sun starts to set the temperature drops sharply reminding you that winter has recently ended. A chill runs down your back making you desire to pull out warmer clothes to stave off this nights coming chill.