Here is a 5 page Psychology Today article titled Ten Politically Incorrect Truths About Human Nature that follows very closely what I have read in the book about Evolutionary Psychology titled Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters. Evolutionary Psychology is very interesting as always.
Archive for the Category » Relationships «
Monday, January 11th, 2010 | Author: James O'Neill
Thursday, September 17th, 2009 | Author: James O'Neill
I have posted a new article for the Milwaukee Examiner titled “Sacred Sexuality“
I have also corrected the previous links to my articles which did not work. Uggghhh!
Category: Articles, Marriage, Ministry, Poly, Relationships, Religion, Sex, Writing
Tags: Gnostic, Gnostic Gospel, Milwaukee Examiner, Pagan, Sacred Prostitute, Sacred Sexuality, Sex Negative, Sex Positive, Tantra 2 Comments
Wednesday, September 16th, 2009 | Author: James O'Neill
I first heard about this in the UUA World magazine a while ago and I was really, really, reeeaaallly excited about it. The United State’s sexual education for kids and adults has never been really good or really comprehensive and this is a wonderful and liberating step forward. The UUA‘s Our Whole Lives (OWL): Lifespan Sexuality Curricula spans from kindergarten to older adults.
My next article on for the Milwaukee Examiner as their Liberal Spiritual Examiner will be about sexuality so I will be mentioning the UUA‘s wonderful new curricula there.
Category: Articles, Ministry, Relationships, Religion, Sex, Writing
Tags: Milwaukee Examiner, Sexulity, Unitarian Universalism Leave a Comment
Wednesday, July 01st, 2009 | Author: James O'Neill
I will write more later, but last after noon Tanya gave birth after 24 hours of labor via a C-Section to our daughter, Uliana (ool-liana) O’Neill. Everyone is fine and still at the hospital. =)
Category: Family, Life, Marriage, Pregnancy, Relationships, Sex
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Friday, June 26th, 2009 | Author: James O'Neill
I am a bit cranky that all the responses I posted to the BLog post titled “The Republican case for Traditional Marriage: a response to Maura Flynn ” by Jim Blazsik have not been approved. My first Response was June 16, and then I made 2 more – 1 on June 23 and 24. Currently, they are all still sitting in the moderator’s queue, so it seems that my only recourse is to publish it here and hopefully someone will see my response to it.
I have written at length about my support for the Gay Marriage issue and I will ask readers to peruse that for more information, especially since much of what I will post here is taken directly from that writing. Please forgive me a head of time. My writing may see quite stern and down right antagonistic, since this topic makes me really cranky, so take this all with a grain of salt..
Without further ado…
Jim Blazsik and His Arguments Against Gay Marriage
His entire argument against gay marriage is predicated on the following fallacious argument:
Marriage has always been considered between a man and women in all cultures, everywhere, and at all times.”
Now this is fallacious simply because it ignores contrary historical and anthropological facts. Ancient Greeks and Egyptians have recognized same sex marriage, and so have many indigenous peoples. The Greeks at one time revered male homosexuality, and it was not until the Catholic Church became dominant when this practice stopped and became heavily stigmatized. Marriage between homosexuals has been done even within Christianity at times.
Jim’s claim of heterosexual monogamy having been the only marital solution throughout humanity’s history is very lost and willfully ignorant of the truth. His claims show an acute and blind indoctrination into the ultraconservative teachings of the Catholic Church without regard for the harm that this causes others, and because of this it makes me quite angry.
What follows is most of what I posted over there and then little bit more since I have the time =):
Your Religious Basis for Discrimination
You (Jim B.) may have not explicitly mentioned the Bible, but you definitively equate “Natural Law” with populist and conservative Catholic morality in your arguments. Even your bio points to conservative Catholic views. You say the “Biblical Law” in all but name, and yet you patently ignore actual anthropological and historical evidence, as most conservatives like to do.
I have a list of quite a few links on the mythical “Traditional Family” and actual historical and anthropological evidence of alternative familial structures on my BLog page on Gay Marriage.
Redefining Marriage
Are we redefining marriage? No. We are merely accepting a marital structure that has existed and has been accepted in humanity’s history. Marriage is continuously evolving and changing throughout all of history as my references definitively point out. It is really conservative Christianity that is trying to redefine marriage to promote oppression and bigotry.
Traditional Marriage and the Unnaturalness of it all
As many opponents to SSM would like to say “We are trying to save traditional marriage.” meaning life-long heterosexual monogamy.
Anthropological and historical fact, and even Biblical writings speak specifically to the invalidity of that phrase. “Traditional marriage” is a relatively new construct that has been attempted to be forced upon us by the Catholic Church following the Roman Emperor Constantine’s conversion, and the church’s mad grab for money and land. My references highlight the fact that what we consider “traditional marriage” is not really traditional at all. The romanticization of marriage started in European writings in the early to mid 1800’s which strongly contributes to magical ’soul mate’ or ‘the one’ factor common in our culture and standards and helped to cement the illusion “traditional marriage” into our culture.
Marriage has taken very many forms over the years from matriarchal and patriarchal polygamy, celibacy, to heterosexual and homosexual monogamy, even within Christianity, but the first recorded case of homosexuality was 2400 B.C.E in Egypt, and homosexuality is found throughout 1500 species in the world. Both of these facts tend to point to homosexuality (and bisexuality by extension) being a natural permutation of sexual expression within living creatures far beyond our recorded history. Of course, homosexuality could not be the statistical norm otherwise our species would die out, so in the interest of species perpetuation (by virtue of natural selection) heterosexuality has to be the majority.
Nature
No where in nature does marriage exist. Marriage is a human secular institution for bestowing specific rights, responsibilities, and privileges. Nature has never defined marriage. Nature has never written a book or a law, or given a speech, or anything else for that matter. “Nature” is an abstract concept that is being personified in a vain attempt to rationalize prejudice and fear mongering.
The only thing that nature has wrought via natural selection and necessity (within this context) is that heterosexuality is statistically the genetic majority to ensure that our species is perpetuated. That is it. Assuming that heteronormity as definitive nature’s plan for marriage is in incorrect. “Nature” does not have anything to do with marriage, since it cares not about secular institutions, it only cares about species perpetuation.
Marriage is a construct of humanity and it is us that cares about heterosexuality or homosexuality. Nature does not, especially since homosexuality exists in nature too. So, please do not use some slanted abstraction such as “nature” as a rationalization and a cover for prejudice within humanity’s institution of marriage.
Marriage and Sexual Intercourse is for Procreation Only
If you check my Traditional Marriage links you will find distinctly that marriage has not historically been done with the primary reason of procreation – lust perhaps, but not specifically procreation. I have never looked a woman and thought “I think we would have great children.” and then decided to pursue them solely based on that criteria (at least not on a conscious level). Marriage has been mostly about power, influence, land, or, more recently in humanity’s history, marriage has evolved to be primarily about love. Rarely has it been specifically about procreation. You could say that the existence of heterosexuality in humanity is for procreation and the perpetuation of our species. That I would believe.
Contrary to what some may say or think, but the act of sexual intercourse for most humans is not done solely for the intent of species perpetuation. Humans, as well as some primates and dolphins, if I remember correctly, are the primary species that have been found to engage in sexual play or intercourse for recreational purposes. Sex is not just for generating progeny. It is also for pleasure, bonding, and social interaction.
Of course, if you really are going to use this argument then those couples who chose to be celibate, who choose to not have children, or who are infertile should also not be allowed to get married. This would also apply to the elderly as well. It sounds as if you almost want to require a document to be signed by the couple to be married that they ‘will have children‘ otherwise you are not really married.
God? Whose God? What God?
Well, first you should understand that Jefferson was a Deist as were quite a few of our founding fathers, and note that in what you quoted they used the words “Nature’s God” and ‘Creator’ and they did not specify ‘God’ (full stop) in the Christian sense. You are most assuredly assuming and projecting that it is referring to Christianity when it most definitively is not. Had they meant that, they most assuredly would have said so.
Nature’s God could very well have been Artemis as some Wiccans may prefer. Our founding fathers were very careful about that. Hell, our Constitution was almost never ratified due to everyone clamoring for a bill of rights with a religious protection clause. Many believed in a deity of sorts, but the colonists were quite the diverse lot running running from the religious persecution of the Catholic church in Europe. They ranged from Unitarians, Universalists, Anglicans, Quakers, Catholics, Deists, Secularists, Humanists and so on, so the Christian God does not make a whole lot of sense historically and especially in light of how the documents are very carefully written and what history shows.
Separation of Church and State most definitely exists. Those specific words are not in the constitution, but the First Amendment most assuredly is.
Keep our government out of you religion, and keep your religion out of our government.
Tyranny?
Let us talk about the Tyranny of Conservative Christianity attempting to legislate religious morality upon the majority when, in fact, everyone is not Christian, nor your specific flavor of Christianity. This is also a violation of our constitutional rights with the little Separation of Church and State thing…
This sort of conservative tyranny is what has supported slavery, segregation, and the oppression of women, since all of those, in there time, were most assuredly conservative social values supported by the church. This conservative tyranny opposes cultural advancement and promotes maintenance of the status quo. It is a disease with which the United States (and many other cultures) has always struggled with, but fortunately civil rights and cultural progress eventually wins in the end.
The Winning Issue?
The winning issue is loving and supportive family structure with parents, regardless of whether they are single, married, homosexual or heterosexual. Homosexual or Heterosexual parents can both provide a loving and supportive home to children, which is more important than the individual genders of the parents.
This is just my humble opinion. =)
I think I have written enough for now.
Category: Civil-Rights, Civil-Unions, Gay-Rights, Marriage, Ministry, Politics, Relationships, Religion
Tags: Jim Blazsik Leave a Comment
Wednesday, June 24th, 2009 | Author: James O'Neill
Note: This article is nowhere near comprehensive. I am not a licensed psychologist or a therepist, and this writing comes from what reading I have done on this topic and my own experience, so take this for what you will. If you have references or other things that may increase the usefulness or accuracy of my writing then feel free to post me about it. I am more than happy to adjust my writing to reflect a new understanding on this topic or to make this page much more useful.
This article assumes, for simplicity, a heterosexual monogamous romantic relationship that is having bad jealousy issues, but could be equally applied with adjustment towards homosexual/poly relationships when view through those glasses. Close friends not getting enough time or other less serious situations are not the focus of this writing, but may be just a appllicable with in that context.
Jealousy is something that we have to deal with, and is something that we are taught is OK. In many forms our culture, unfortunately, supports and perpetuates its existence. How are we to manage or understand this “green-eyed monster” that can destroy relationships and our happiness, so that it is not allowed to do so, even when cultural support for it is so prevalent?
Understanding exactly what jealousy is, and how and why it affects us can help us to not only tame it, but to advance and evolve our sense of self and our relationships. I am going to cover a bit here today about jealousy so that we can start the journey to defeat the “green-eyed monster”together, and to evolve our happiness and security to the next level.
All of what I am about to write is predicated on there not being a definitive reason for the jealousy such as a history of infidelity or lying and so on. That is a totally difference scenario which I will not cover here, but in that case you will most definitely require a seek a qualified therapist. There are also many more links at the bottom of this page that will cover jealousy in much more detail and in a much more educated and qualified manner than I ever could. This page might be consider more of a primer on dealing with jealousy.
Understanding Jealousy
What is Jealousy?
Jealousy is not an emotion in-and-of-itself. It is a cacophonous and yet subtle amalgamation of baser negative emotions such as insecurity, low self esteem, subconscious or repressed pains, and fear of loss, abandonment, or inadequacy that surfaces and affects us in ways that we may not fully understand or be able to describe when it happens. We just know that we feel bad or that it hurts when something triggers it, and we may get angry and frustrated because we do not, or find it very difficult to try to, understand it.
Jealousy is also rooted in the starvation economy (starvation model) of love, which essentially means that if my love cares for someone else then they will care less for me, which greatly increases the level of fear, anxiety, and possesiveness. We love our parents, our children, close friends, and other extended family, so you do not necessarily need to be afraid that they are going to love someone else and not you. Your partner has room for you in addition to their close friends and family. Humans just keep on loving. It is said that fear is the opposite of love; and by letting go of fear (jealousy) you will foster love in your life.
These self doubts, insecurities, and fears can lead us to question and pressure our partners in an agressive and untrusting manner which can damage the relationship, or push them away. Gaining an understanding and control of jealousy will be important to the happiness and harmony of all your current and future relationships, especially the most important and intimate ones.
This frustration and difficulty of understanding these emotions perpetuates and hinders exploration and comprehension of what exactly is happening. Cutting our way through the pain and confusion is what will be important to defeat the ‘green-eyed monster’ and the havoc it wreaks upon our lives and relationships. Ultimately, bouts of jealousy indicate that there is some unresolved issue with yourself or with your relationship. It signals a moment to learn about ones self, which, of course, can be a mixed blessing.
Your Triggers
Jealousy triggers typically involve ‘someone’ of the opposite sex of your partner. Your partner does something and you feel jealous and hurt, and you may or may not understand why. The action that started this process is the trigger. Examples of common triggers are: someone calling your partner or oogling at them, your partner staying our late, or wanting to spend time with friends, spending time with people in a very social setting where there are many individuals of the same gender that your partner could be attracted to.
You will need to pay special attention to your triggers. The triggers themselves may be revealing as to the underlying issue you may be having, especially if one trigger is fairly consistent and others are either non-existent or limited in their prevalence.
Your Emotional Repsonse
Your emotional response to a jealousy trigger is going to be very important to monitor and understand. Try to search your emotion and figure out exactly what you are feeling. This is perhaps the most difficult part. You will need to try to distinguish between individual fears and insecurities, and potentially trust issues. Take the time to think about you feelings to try to refine what exactly is going on. The more you can know about this the easier it will be to understand what your underlying issue maybe and how to deal with it.
Your Reasons
If you are able to know you triggers and the emotional response to that trigger, then the next step is the take that information and try to find out why that trigger elicits that emotional response. Is it projected unresolved issues from the past, or perhaps you need more reassurance from your partner, or there may be any of a plethora of other things that may cause a specific type of trigger to generate a specific emotional response. Try to think about the relationship between the trigger and your emotional response.
Again this may be something that you will want a qualified therpist to work through. These are very complicated and potentially deep seated issues that some simple self exploration and talking may not deal with. Plus we are working against some very trong cultural and evolutionary programming.
Managing Jealousy
Responsibility For Our Emotions
Something that is very key to understanding and dealing with this issue is that no one can make you feel any emotion. You are an individual and you have a choice as to how you feel and react to situations. This is not what we are typically taught, but it is one of the most valuable things you can realize for yourself and you life. You have a choice to determine your reaction to a situation, albeit, until your realize this you may find yourself a helpless slave to your emotional whims. People typically go through their lives allowing their initial emotional response to bubble forth and then they go with it because that is all they know, but in the case of jealousy, or even any other negative emotion, it is not such a good idea to do so.
If you work at it you can separate the ‘action that triggers an emotional response’, the ‘emotional response itself’, and the ‘underlying reasons for the emotional response’. Keep in mind ‘underlying reasons’ does not mean triggers themselves. The trigger, emotional response, and the reason are all separate and need to be inspected that way otherwise you may start mixing them up and call the trigger the reason, when it is not.
No one can make you feel specific emotion. We are, in many ways, programmed via Evolution and Culture to respond a certain way to certain situations, but this is something that we can, with effort and desire, to control and modify it. This process can be a very painful, since it will require introspection, self evaluation, a radical honesty with one’s self and their partner, trust, and vulnerability. All of which can be scary and difficult in-and-of-themselves, but to combine them into one process makes this not for the weak of heart, but in the end it can be one of the most rewarding things you can do. =O If you are not keen on going-it-alone with you partner in dealing with jealousy, then there are many qualified therapists that would be happy to assist you in this endeavor.
It is important to say to yourself that ‘I will not allow my emotions to control or effect my life in a negative way and I will decisively choose to address them when they come up.’ You emotions are your responsibility and you need to evaluate how they affect your life and address them appropriately. I will cover some communication techniques later on that will address taking responsibility for you emotions.
Dealing with Jealousy Through Writing
Writing can be a very theraputic and revealing method to help you deal with jealousy and other issues too. Writing a journal will help you to keep track of and get out those negative feelings. In these days you could also record them via a small recording device if that serves you better. In either case you will want to keep your recording medium safe from others because rarely is such a painful and deep seated emotion pretty. Things may be written or said that can be quite personal and painful not only for you, but to those involved. If you are pursuing this process with your partner you may want to inform them that you are doing this and for them to respect your privacy if you wish it.
When you do feel a bout of jealousy starting you may want to take some time to write down the specifics of the situation that is triggering the jealousy. Keeping track of what situations or actions that triggered you to feel jealous can help you greatly in your pursuit to banish jealousy from your relationship.
As you are keeping track of your triggers, you will also want to also to write down your emotional response to that trigger. Write as much as you can and just let the thoughts and emotions flow so you can thoroughly explore and open them. Explore this state of mind and write down what you are feeling.
Once you have that recorded you can revisit it and explore your triggers and feelings and then you might be able to find a trend in your triggers or what it is that you are feeling. Perhaps you will find a reoccuring theme in your feelings and writings that may point to the underlying reason for your jealousy.
Dealing with Jealousy Through Talking
When talking to you partner form your thoughts along these lines: “I feel ‘this’ when ‘that’ happens” because ‘of this’.; and NOT “You make feel this way when you do this, because you ‘reason’.” since that wording puts the responsibility for your emotions on the other person and assumes that you know the other persons thoughts and intentions.
You have the right to feel how you feel, and the first wording reinforces you are taking responsibility for your emotions, which seems to be an affront to the common thinking of our emotional states, especially when it comes to jealousy and possesiveness with our partners. Jealousy seems to be treated like a crime that is inflicted on others, when it is something that we allow to fester within us do to a lack of open and honest communication and taking responsibility for our emotions.
Sentences such as ”You make feel this way when you do this.” you are creating an antogonistic environment, putting responsibility for your emotional state to your partner, and may potentially be putting your partner on the defensive, even though your emotions are yours and your partner may not have done anything wrong. Doing so may put your partner on the defensive and may greatly inhibit communication and your progress towards resolution and understanding what you are going through.
Enabling Jealous Actions
This is more for the jealous person’s partner than for the jealous person. If you both know that you have jealousy issues then by not talking about it or confronting them, albeit calmly, cooly, and with compassion, you are enabling and reinforcing this behaviour and allowing it to continue. Once you start to do that you are reinforcing for them that this behaviour is acceptable and that you will just deal with it, which leads to not only a break down in communication, but also in bad feelings for both of you, and potentially resentment.
Take the time to care enough to talk about and address jealousy in your relationship. Ignoring it is not going to make it go away, and is only going to allow it to fester and grow stronger potentially creating a chasm between both of you with a lof of pain.
Pain and chasms – bad. Calm and honest communication – good. Realize that it is going to take two of you to address jealousy, so help to be apart of the solution, by not enabling this behaviour. Perhaps you can be the one to suggest counseling if your partner is reluctant to.
References and More Info
What I have written is a pretty good start to this topic, but please do peruse these references for more information. If these do not suffice, please seek a qualified professional to assist you. I also will appreciate recommendations for any other pertinent and useful resources that you may find or know of. I did not include articles on therapy through writing. If you are interested google has plenty, of a therepist can help you with that as well. =)
Articles
- Center for Non-Violent Communication
- Jealousy: A Voice of Possesiveness Past (Psychology Today)
- Jealousy: Monster with Dangerous Passion (Sexpresso)
- Managing Jealousy (Hello Good Love)
- Loving without Jealousy: As We Becoming More Authentic, Jealousy Disappears (University of Minnesota)
- Controlling Jealousy (Dr. Phill)
- Dealing With Jealousy Issues (Bea Wehrla, Counseling and Human Development, 2002)
- Fixing the Refridgerator: Practica Jealousy Management (Polyamory, 2009)
- Green-Eyed Monster, the (California Psychics)
- How to deal with jealousy (Romance Class)
- Jealousy (The Inn Between, Polyamory)
- Jealousy, The Green-Eyed Monster (Dr. Gail Saltz, March 2007)
- Essays by Peppermint (several essays on jealousy and related topics)
- Surviving Jealousy – when you are in the path of the green eyed monster (Young Metro Poly)
Books
- Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus (Amazon Book)
- Radical Honesty (Amazon Book)
- Books on Non-Violent Communication (Amazon Books)
- Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality (Amazon Books)
Videos
- Jealous Relationships (Sex+ by Laci Green)
Category: Evolution, Marriage, Ministry, Poly, Relationships, Science, Sex
Tags: Evolutionary Psychology, Jealousy, Psychology, Starvation Model of Love 2 Comments
Monday, June 22nd, 2009 | Author: James O'Neill
Pregnancy
So, here we are about a week or so before Tanya’s due date. She is so ready for this pregnancy to be over with. Her feet are in pain from carrying so much extra weight. Some good things about it is that during this pregnancy her body tempurature has been warmer than normal, which puts her at being comfortable most of the time. Normally she is always chilly or cold, but not now, so that has been a nice change for her.
We are getting the emergency pregnancy bag together are making sure we have everything we need to get this scary and throroughly exciting new era of our lives started. We have most everything we need from a crib, bassinet, diaper genie and a whole host of other things mostly donated or given as gifts by the wonderful people in our lives. =)
My mother is excited beyond all belief, especially after fearing that I may never have children since I have waited so long. I am currently 35 =O and not getting any younger. =)
Hopefully, in the next week we will be able to post that our new daughter has been born.
Immigrating Family
Tanya’s brother and his wife have one a Green Card through the US’ Green Card Lottery and have been here for a few weeks. We have been able to get a lot done. We have their Social Security Cards\Numbers and Green Cards, as well as having a job for her and a car for them, plus back accounts and debit cards setup. We have some thoughts on work for him. He is a mechanic and are working towards those jobs. We are currently working towards getting their divers licenses and finding and getting them an apartment.
The primary issue we have is their English knowledge. Neither learned a lot of English in school back in Belarus. They are now really just starting to learn English so that is going to slow their progress down. They are learning it each day. They have MP3 based lessons as well as books that they are working with so things are progressing. Yea!
Father’s Day
Fathers day was a combo of 2 days. My father wanted to have a cook-out and fire so we arranged to have a cook-out at our house on Saturday. My parents brought over most of the food and stuff so Tanya would not have to worry about things so much. I had to work at First Weber in the morning until about 14:30 (2:30pm) or so. After that we prepared things for them to come over.
I have 3 used grills and will be looking forward to buying a new grill some day. My wife prefer’s the flavor of food cook over fire instead of gas or charcoal, so after talking with my Dad and Tanya we started the grill with charcoal and then added some wood on top of it. Now, of course the wood would put the flame right at the grills surface and cook/burn things too quickly and make it really hard to control, so I brought out the metal cooking griddle that I bought for camping and placed that comfortably over the grill. It fit right on the edge allowing the heat from the flame to more evenly heat the griddle to cook. That seemed to work really well. The only issues with it were that the mesquite chips we used were not effective in imparting their flavor and the griddle was too small to cook a lot quickly, other than that, it seemed to work really well.
We ate and drank and enjoyed ourselves. It was a good time.
Sunday, was more my day. We went to church at the Free Congregation where we discussed Evolutionary Creationism which is a pet topic of mine, so I found it really enlightening and enjoyable. Our speaker, Andrew Kerr is always a delight to listen to. He is quite intellectual and challenging.
New friends
After that we stopped by a couple that contacted us, since Tanya was Russian and so was the wife. We made plans to meet for the first time and it was a pleasure, especially for me. The husband was an American who was a geek as well as a former US Navy nuke, so we had a lot in common there. The wife was Russian, and was an English as a Second Language teacher and has a degree in Linguistics which I found interesting since I am reading a little bit about it due to my interest in Esperanto.
Dugeons and Dragons
D&D Sunday was great, We got together with the group and killed a few things but spent most of our time in an puzzle/trap room and a Skill Challenge with a long dead adventuring party. A good time. =)
All-in-all a good Fathers Day weekend.
Monday, June 15th, 2009 | Author: James O'Neill
Category: Civil-Rights, Civil-Unions, Gay-Rights, Links, Marriage, Misc, Politics, Relationships
Tags: Melissa Griffin, Supreme Court Leave a Comment
Wednesday, June 03rd, 2009 | Author: James O'Neill
Comedian, Deven Green, as Betty Bowers, America’s Best Christian, in this amazing and insightful video with a tang that takes a walk through the plethora of the Biblical examples of marriage to show how tame same sex marriage really is:
Category: Civil-Rights, Civil-Unions, Computer, Gay-Rights, Links, Marriage, Ministry, Misc, Politics, Relationships, Religion, Video
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Tuesday, May 26th, 2009 | Author: James O'Neill
Some surprising things you may have not known about orgasms via YouTube:
Category: Links, Misc, Relationships, Sex
Tags: Mary Roach, Orgasm, TED, Video, YouTube Leave a Comment
Tuesday, May 26th, 2009 | Author: James O'Neill
It looks like California’s Proposition 8 Upheld by State Supreme Court. I find this a sad, sad result, and a little surprising. I guess I do understand why they did uphold it considering the scope of what was being challenged, but if the real issue of civil rights violation went before the US Supreme court, I think it would validate same sex marriage (California Supreme Court Summary News Release). =(
The main issue that seem to be addressed by the court were as follows:
- Narrowness in scope of the change to the State Constitution and whether or not Proposition 8 was valid as an amendedment or was such a measure required to be run as a fundamental revision to the state constitution.
It is key to understand that they are not ruling on the Gay Rights issue itself, but in the validity of Proposition 8 as a change (in one way or another) to the California State Constitution, which is made pretty clear here:
The opinion emphasizes that it is not minimizing the significance that the official designation of “marriage” holds for both the proponents and opponents of Proposition 8, and explains that an accurate assessment of the actual effect of Proposition 8 on the constitutional rights of same-sex couples is necessary to evaluate the constitutional challenges that are advanced in this case.
I find the following quote really bothersome. This similar logic could be used to uphold a law that prevents interracial marriage from being legal, since its scope would be similarly narrow. This is a scary thought. =(
The court further unanimously held that the scope of Proposition 8 is narrow, limited solely to restricting the use of the term “marriage” to opposite-sex couples, while not otherwise affecting the fundamental constitutional rights of same-sex couples described in its earlier opinion in In re Marriage Cases (2008) 43 Cal.4th 757.
I also find it interesting that this case did not bring to front the violation of civil rights that banning same sex marriage is, and brings to front that the power of a scared majority can violate civil rights of a minority. I am frightened to think what would have happened had the internet (and the TV commercials) existed in its present form during World War II. I can only imagine a horrendous grassroots movement and a ballot item to round up and exterminate Germans or Japanese in a constitutional amendment of a state or two. Eeeeeeeek! =(
We did rounded them all up as an protective act during war time, but, I fear what would have happend had we had the communication capability then that we do now.
I really wonder if it is possible to appeal this to the US Supreme court on the ground of a violation of our Constitutional and Inalienable Civil Rights, and our Pursuit of Happiness.
The court also unanimously held that the new constitutional provision applies only prospectively, and does not affect the continued validity of the estimated 18,000 marriages of same-sex couples that occurred prior to November 5, 2008, when the new constitutional provision took effect. The challenges to Proposition 8 before the court were filed by numerous same-sex couples and public entities and were based solely on the provisions of the California Constitution and did not raise any federal constitutional claim.
… and this to me seems rather arbitrary and a method to appease gay-rights activists. It is good that this was done to save the 18,000 existing marriages or so. I may be a little bitter, but in taking a more objective look at it, this may have been the right thing to do.
People are quite scared to make this a US Supreme Court case and are avoiding it out of fear of extremist violence, and fear of being involved in what will be such a polarizing and protracted case. We need someone with some balls to take it all the way to the top and stop pussy-footing around the real issue here – an unconstitional civil rights violation being perpetrated by a politically active conservative Christian majority pining for their status quo.
Category: Civil-Rights, Civil-Unions, Gay-Rights, Marriage, Ministry, Politics, Relationships, Religion
Tags: California Leave a Comment
Tuesday, May 19th, 2009 | Author: James O'Neill
I just posted and article in support of Gay Marriage.
Friday, May 08th, 2009 | Author: James O'Neill
I have written a huge page in support of the the Legalization of Prostitution and I thought would announce it to everyone so that they may rant or rave about it.
Category: Church, Civil-Rights, Culture, Evolution, Gay-Rights, Ministry, Politics, Poly, Relationships, Religion, Sex
Tags: Absurdity Of Consensual Crimes In Free Society, Anatomy of Love, Change.org, Divine Sex, Evolution, Evolutionary Psychology, Human Trafficking, Immigration, Polyamory, Polygamy, Prostitution, sex worker, Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters One Comment
Wednesday, March 18th, 2009 | Author: James O'Neill
I usually do not post about things like this, but somehow I came upon this article on Oprah’s
‘O Magazine’ and found it interesting: Why Women Are Leaving Men for Other Women.