How do we work our way through the agony of loss or betrayal of the loved ones (and I do not necessarily mean romantic loves) in our lives. How do we deal with the anger, remedy the betrayal, story the loss, that quiet desperation and loneliness that pervades our very being when those moments dominate our lives? How can we continue when all that we believe and want has been dashed on torturous, cold, and uncaring rocks.
Love is a mixed bag of good and bad emotions throughout our lives. The love that we feel for our family, friends, and lovers can bring about a tumult of emotions that can bring you to sobbing tears of happiness and drop you to your knees in desperation and despair. Why does Love do this to us? Why do we, as Humans, do this to each other? Why do we allow ourselves to be subject to the risk of such depths and heights? At times it almost seems as though that Love may not be worth the pain and we want to give up on all relations with other Humans, let alone even consider opening up, caring, or loving again.
At one moment we think that we have found the loves of our lives and are living high and happy on New Relationship Energy (NRE), looking forward to the future brightly; and the next moment we are slapped with something so devastating and life changing that we feel that we will never recover or even be able to continue living.
I have been brought to tears and wanted to allow myself and felt justified to allow myself to hate after having my heart torn asunder. I have come to appreciate how wonderful a person is after enduring tough moments with them. I have felt deep and passionate friendships and love that I would not have traded for the world. I have had some completely ripped apart and not a shred of it remains. I have felt the highs and lows of Love and I still remain, eager and anxious even through the scars and memories of tears shed to love and grow for in each moment in which there is Love and caring completely subsumes the losses. I am able to better appreciate the time that I have with those I care more, because I know that it may not last forever.
It is in these hollow moments while wallowing in pain and these moments of euphoric happiness that make loving another a greatest and worst of all of our life’s experiences. Without the pain of loss we could not appreciate the moments of closeness, trust, and love from those that we are close to. Enjoy that you have the pain so that you better appreciate those special and loving relationships in your life. Let the tears flow and the pain work its way through for when the time has come, the pain subsided, and you find yourself moving on – life will continue and you will love again. It will never be the same as with anyone in your past, but it will be unique and fulfilling in its own right.
I have had a moment in my life where it really hit me that it is the journey that matters so much more than the destination. This little epiphany happened during the first month or so working at my current job, illness following graduating from college and returning from Europe.
I have had a plan since I was a Junior in high school (1991) that I had been following, search
and this little plan brought me here, to this job (destination). I went in the military to learn how to learn, to see the world a little bit, and to better prepare myself for life and college. I then went to college, graduated with honors with an BS in Computer Information Systems and an AS in Computer Networking Technologies. Following that I went to Europe for 10 weeks to visit friends and then came back and found this job.
Along this way I dealt with entering the military, surviving their training and schooling, getting out of the military, getting married and then divorced, had my grandfather pass away, started a new job. I drove about 2 1/2 hours each 13 hour day – 6 days a week. Desert Storm and 9-11 happened during this time as well. I have been through a lot to get to this point and it would not have been so significant or important to me had I not had to endure and experience everything that I did.
Yes, the destination is nice and I am really appreciating it. I love my job and where I am in life. I am proud of a lot that I have done. I could not have done it alone though. I had help from friends and family. All of this helps me to appreciate what I have. For me, it is the Journey through life and not where we end up that matters. For without the journey there can be no real perspective or way to truly appreciate what you have accomplished.