Archive for » 2007 «

So Far Away

Friday, December 28th, 2007 | Author: James O'Neill

So far away
An ocean apart
I have missed you so much
I can feel it in my heart

Your soft touch and
smile so bright
Leave me happy memories that
keep me warm at night

You have made me feel so special,
so happy, and right
I wish you were here right now
so I could hold you close and kiss you good night

So far a way
An ocean apart
Miles away
Yet so close at heart

I look forward to when I may see you again
So this angel that haunts me dreams
may tell me her heart

I wish to hear your voice and
to know that you are near
so we can share out thoughts,
feelings, and fears

So far away
An ocean apart
I have missed you so much
I can feel it in my heart

James O’Neill, Fall 1993

Category: Life, Poetry, Writing  Leave a Comment

A Christmas Gift

Friday, December 28th, 2007 | Author: James O'Neill

This was written in 4 parts. Each two lines was written to a specific person and written in a card for them, and each was meant to fit into this specific little Christmas Poem. I was in the military and at sea when I wrote this, perhaps during my cruise to the Mediterranean in 1995, somewhere around there.

To my close friends and family on this holiday season
Warm tidings I send to thee

Upon this Christams season I think of you often
Reminiscing of our times together both happy and sad

Remembering the warmth of your words and embrace and
never wavering in support

Remembering the gifts traded of both heart and wrapping
but your loving presence is by far the best

Longing and treasuring the closeness that time and
distance may bring

Wishing at every moment I could be with you this holiday
To share in the revel found only in the tidings of St. Nick

Being so far away and unable to give to thee the gifts I wish
I send thee a present of heart and soul, of love and friendship in the prose contained herein.

James O’Neill, Winter 1995

Category: Holiday, Life, Poetry, Writing  Leave a Comment

"These"

Friday, December 28th, 2007 | Author: James O'Neill

To write “these” all I have to do is think of you and the emotions attempt to pour out my pencil and on to the page
It is too bad for my pencil is not the best interpreter
My pencil can express only minimally what my emotions tell it
To find out truly what emotions told my pencil and how pencil interpreted it and produced “These”

You must skip the pencil and paper and talk to my emotions directly
For only then will you understand how I created “These”

James O’Neill, December 1993

Category: Life, Poetry, Writing  Leave a Comment

Missing You

Friday, December 28th, 2007 | Author: James O'Neill

As gentle as the morning sun
I remember your touch
You laughter and beauty haunt my dreams
In the morning I sigh, as I think of you
My days are filled with dreams of you and our so brief moments together

Before I lay myself to sleep and as I wake to the morning
I am welcomed to a new day with your beauty as only a picture may capture
A week or more I spent in blue as my inner self was remembering you
Remembering you, unknowingly as I mechanically trudge through “this”
With all of this said remember I am thinking of only you

James O’Neill, January 2, 2003

Category: Life, Poetry, Writing  Leave a Comment

You and I

Friday, December 28th, 2007 | Author: James O'Neill

As the suspense builds, I grow impatient
I wait to see you after out last parting so long ago
I wait so long, to finally get you here with me, alone
With no worries or concerns, just what to do next
Just You and I

In the time that we were together, we found something special and new
Something exciting and special
We found a little more of each other
In those quiet moments or amidst the laughter
we have grown closer, you and I

And in the moments of our leaving
With the flowers and the beauty of your face still fresh in my mind,
I long for the togetherness a weekend of reverie has brought

James O’Neill, Summer 1994

Category: Life, Poetry, Writing  Leave a Comment

Always and Forever

Friday, December 28th, 2007 | Author: James O'Neill

Trees pollinate and the animals mate
The young grow and flourish as the sun beams down
The sick and weak wane as the leaves fall
The feeble are no more as whiteness sets upon the land
This is the cycle of life and death as mother nature has ordained
This will be always

The stars, planets and galaxies have been forever
My love spans an even greater continuum
Through time and space

Always and Forever

Since first we met – I loved you
The more we did as one the stronger my love grew
Til now, as the last weekend spent
I love you

Always ands Forever

As people come and go
As trees sprout a new and the leaves fall
As people live their lives and continue on to the netherworld
My love continues on

In life and death
As time passes on
As distances wax and wane
Our love grew infinitely stronger as we grew finitely closer
As the rest of the world continues on we continue to love each other

Always and Forever

James O’Neill, 1992

Category: Life, Poetry, Writing  Leave a Comment

That Thing Most Precious

Friday, December 28th, 2007 | Author: James O'Neill

On a night most filled with doubt and confusion, fear and longing
I prayed to the lord
I prayed while I lay awake in bed
A bed not mine, but of the place that takes me away from you
Eyes closed, I prayed
While I prayed I envisioned a lighted portal above me, the mild fog and mist issuing from it was pierced by the wisdom of the Lord

I begged answer to my question
“Lord, there is something so precious that I wish to keep. Something so near and dear to my heart. I must know, If I am to keep this thing most precious, can I stay here where I am so far apart from it or must I go to it.”

The next morning a person came forth and said
“I have a message for you. The Lord came to me last night while I stood watch most vigilant; He said ‘I have a message for him: Tell him he must got to this thing so precious;’”
I blinked and then he was gone
So, I think to myself ‘could this message be coincidence or has the Lord answered my query’

And so I sit here now writing of the possibility, unknowing if the Lord has truly sent his word
I sit here writing with out you, This Thing Most Precious

James O’Neill, Summer 1992

Category: Life, Poetry, Writing  Leave a Comment

My Poems

Friday, December 28th, 2007 | Author: James O'Neill

These poems, if you would be so kind to call them that, have been written usually while being depressed or hurting emotionally. To this day there is only one poem that I have written with a positive emotion behind it. Unfortunately, it seems to be that only negative emotions seem drive my somewhat limited creative poetic juices. There is but one more poem which has been lost and can never be recovered. Take that for good or ill as you may. =)

Enjoy them if you can. If not, well, I am sure that you are not the only one. =)

Category: Life, Poetry, Writing  Leave a Comment

Trip to Cancun (Day 5 of 9; Wednesday)

Friday, December 28th, 2007 | Author: James O'Neill
Crabhouse Restaurant

Crabhouse Restaurant

Today we finally had the chance to go snorkeling. This was the one tour that we had the money to do. We, on purpose, did not bring a lot of money on this trip. Hopefully, if we are able to come again, we will bring more money as there are so many, many other things we would like to do while we are here.

We had to be at the Crab House which was about a 10 minute bus ride from our hotel to meet the tour peeps that would be taking us to the snorkeling point. We woke up at about 06:00 (6:00am) to get showered, eat breakfast at the buffet, and get there. This is way too early to get up on a vacation. 09:00 (9:00am)is good for me. Uggghhh!

Snorkeling

Who is this snorkeling?

Who is this snorkeling?

We finished getting ready by collecting the disposable underwater camera that we bought in the US and our swimming suits, then we were off to the Crab House. We arrived about 07:35 (7:35am) which was well before the meeting time. We waited and got a little antsy at about 07:50 (7:30am) and and asked someone near by if they knew anything about this and they did not. Right about then this empty tour bus arrived and it looked suspiciously like it could be ours. We asked the man and ‘woo hoo’ this was it. We got on the bus and waited for what was to be about 13 other people that were to join us. By about 08:10 (8:10am) everyone was on board and we were off to snorkeling. I think just about every person on the bus was American.

The bus ride to the Punta Maroma area, which was near Playa del Carmen, if I remember correctly, and took about 45 minutes to get there. This was a long bus ride. The seats were comfortable enough and so was the company, but we were antsy and wanting to get the fun started. Both of us were really looking forward to swimming in the sea and seeing all sorts of aquatic critters up close, and a bus ride was not our idea of relaxing or seeing the aquatic critters. Enough of the whining already. =)

Eventually we got there and they got us all together and had us sign the waivers and pay the ‘Reef Tax‘ which was about $2 a person. Then we had to wait by a beach side restaurant for 15 really long minutes before they were ready for us, at which time they went over all of the safety and other required verbiage. Finally, the 20 or so or us made our way onto the uneven pier and to the neat looking trimaran which is a sail boat with three protruding outrigger hulls.

Our trip would take us to two 40 minute snorkeling stops along what I think is the Belize Barrier Reef around Punta Maroma. We all loaded up into the trimaran and were given our mask/snorkel, flippers, and life vest and were told to sit down and enjoy the ride. Tanya and I laid down and stretched out to get ourselves some sun. This part was nothing overly special for me as I was on a carrier in the Navy and saw plenty of open blue water. Tanya enjoyed the view a lot.

A school of white bodied and yellow tailed fish at the Belize Barrier Reef near Punta Maroma, Mexico.

A school of white bodied and yellow tailed fish at the Belize Barrier Reef near Punta Maroma, Mexico.

We stopped for our first snorkeling point and we all jumped into the water (or climbed down the and ladder) and began to look at the wondrous underwater world full of fish, corral and other beautiful things. It was so very beautiful and serene. Breathing out of the snorkel and not breathing in water took some practice to get used to it.

Small school of yellowish fish at the Belize Barrier Reef near Punta Maroma, Mexico.

Small school of yellowish fish at the Belize Barrier Reef near Punta Maroma, Mexico.

I have never seen so many fish like this. With the fins you could swim fast and you would like to reach out and touch them, but they can sense your bioelectric field or a change in water pressure as you approach and they move just out of your reach. It was a lot of tiring fun.

By the end of the first dive Tanya had used up pretty much all of the film in the camera we brought. We were tired from all of the swimming, but you do not really notice it until you have a chance to rest because you are caught up in the moment: the water, the mask, the fish, and not wanting to miss anything. We went to the second snorkeling point, and swam, and looked. It was a very good work out and by the end of the second one I was done for the day. =) Snorkeling is a lot of fun and breathtaking in more ways than one.

The Post-Snorkeling Night

After we finished we were whipped and were very quiet on the ride back. They were so kind as to have small van/bus thingy take us straight to our hotel. Yea! We dragged out feet into the entrance. I almost tripped on one the steps as we went in to the hotel. Once we get upstairs to our room we took a shower.

Market 28

As if tiring ourselves out from snorkeling was not enough we decided to head out to down town Cancun to Market 28 to check out what they have and to see what the bartering is like. Why is it called Market 28? I am not sure. I assume that is has to do with the street or neighbor hood name or address or something.

In Belarus, when Tanya was young, her and her brother sold things at a market there and they bartered, but what they did there was quite a bit different than what is done here. In Belarus they give their price and you can go down a little bit from there, and I mean a little bit. Here You can almost cut the price in half and possibly still have room to work with. Tanya was frustrated and did not like it so much because it was very different from what she was used to – a whole different frame of mind that is hard for her to wrap her beautiful little mind around. We spent a little time just getting a taste for it and then we went home. We were both tired and a little cranky from all of the swimming, walking, heat, and bus rides.

Tai Restaurant in the Oasis Palm Beach"
Tai Restaurant

We made our reservation early in the morning and were quite ready to eat by this time. We were quite hungry especially from our busy day swimming and walking.

Mexican Party Band

They had a Mexican cover/party band that sang all sort of songs American and Mexican and was hoping to get people out there to dance, and some did. We did for a little bit, but in our tired state it was not for too long. Tanya met a Belarussian couple there who is there in Cancun for their sixth trip. They talked for a little bit. The band was alright they sang well, but there was nothing really special or that stood out with them. They were also, unfortunately, plagued with some technical difficulties with which they were annoyed with, but they eventually got that settled.

Gargling Contest

In the middle of the band’s break the hotel entertainment crew started a small contest. They picked 4 girls out from the crowd to perform a gargling contest. They specifically picked my wife and introduced her as the reigning champion, seeming as she won the last contest they had – the little dance contest, as well as 3 other girls. All 4 had to gargle Tequila to the lyrics of ‘La Cucaracha’. Tanya one this as well. She was really the only one where you could really tell the song. Have I mentioned that my wife rocks? If I haven’t – She does.

Category: Cancun, Mexico, Snorkeling, Travel, Trip, Vacation  Leave a Comment

Dungeons and Dragons 4E is Coming…

Thursday, December 27th, 2007 | Author: James O'Neill

I do not normally post about this hobby, but I thought I might today as the Fourth Edition (4E) of Dungeons and Dragons (D&D) is slated to be out in June (core books: Players Handbook, Dungeons Masters Guide, and Monster Manual I) with a preview adventure (Keep on the Shadowfell) preceding them in May. I am so very excited and have them all preordered via Amazon.

I have been playing D&D since the tail end of First Edition (1E) shortly before Second Edition (2E) came out, back in my 9th grade of high school which puts us to about 1989 or so. I have been playing since that day and have not regretted a moment of it.

I have made many friends, learned many new words, greatly increased my reading appetite, started writing,learned to thinking critically, and understand the importance of rules and the ramifications that they can have when paired with other rules. I have gained in interest in Shakespeare, Arthurian Legends, mythology, history and computers all from playing this wonderful game. This and Martial Arts have been the two most formative pastimes that have helped to greatly forge the person that I am today.

Category: DnD, Life, RPG  Leave a Comment

Arion’s Home?

Thursday, December 27th, 2007 | Author: James O'Neill

Pronounced ‘A-rion’ like Scooby Doo would say “Look Shaggy a lion!” – “Rook Raggy a rion!” Now that we have pronunciation out of the way and you are not thinking of me as an arian racist thug I can move on to other nerdy and kind of embarrassing facets.

The nitty-gritty is something that you may find a little strange but I will disclose it nevertheless. Arion was my favorite Second Edition (2E) Dungeons and Dragons (D&D) character. She was a 17th level Magic User and what is called (at least in those days) an Alu-fiend which are the half-fiendish offspring of a succubus and a mortal.

She was good natured, wise and innocent, yet worldly and naive at the same time. She is passionate and protective of those she cares about and unleashes all of the arcane magical might that she can to destroy demons or anyone who would threaten her friends, family or the innocent.

I have not played her since then because the Third Edition (3E) rule set would not be kind in translation to such a character, and I do not mean by virtue of the implied and not at all applicable morale proclivities of her fiendish parentage as some of you may think. It more has to do with the offsetting and balancing the advantage and innate abilities of her race. I am thinking that with the impending horizon of Fourth Edition (4E) that her to return – Faerie Dragon Familiar and all – is in the making. Yea!

I have written a little bit about her history in story format and maybe someday I feel brave enough to to unleash my creative workings upon you to incite massive hemorrhaging and scarring the likes of which the literary world have not seen in a long time.

Category: Arions-Home, DnD, Misc, RPG  Leave a Comment

Eulogy to My Grandfather

Thursday, December 27th, 2007 | Author: James O'Neill

Here is a little background on the following little story: At the time I was separating with my then ‘wife’, starting a new job, and starting my first year in college, after having left the military. I was close to both my grandparents who lived close to our family and who I never saw often enough in my busy life. I am writing this in far retrospect, so take this for what it is worth. I am going write what I spoke at my Grandfather’s funeral in 1999 amidst the tears I stumbled out something like this:.

When I was young I made a promise as many grandsons are wont to do for their grandparents who love them and care for them so very much. I promised something that may seem a little strange to you now, but at that age anything seemingly big and responsible is cool to our green ears. At something like 10 years of age I promised my grandfather and my grandmother that I would read their favorite Psalm, the 23 Psalm, at their funeral.

I was so very young and being as such I had no real concept of time or even of death. My grandparents have been alive longer than I and even longer than my parents, and a far as this little kid is concerned they always will be. This was the sort of promise that I never really expected to have to fulfill, for it seems like they will live forever as my eternal grandparents – old and wise. So, now I have the misfortunate pleasure to read to you today the 23 Psalm:

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou annointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

Thank you.

Category: Death, Holiday, Life  Leave a Comment

Gift Cards?

Thursday, December 27th, 2007 | Author: James O'Neill

So, we have this ephemeral gift for the lazy called the ‘Gift Card‘. Why would anyone inflict this scourge upon another especially during a holiday when we should be extolling love, family, friendship, and companionship. It is like saying ‘Here. Go buy your own damn gift as I cannot be bothered the moment or three to think of buying a real one for you.‘.

Oh, and it gets better. Not only does the giver not care so much, but the receiver has to take the time to pick out their own gift. They have to take the time to decide what to get out of the vast plethora of things that the store has to offer. The moral and intellectual quandry that this incites is painful and stressful. Why are you trying to inflict this state upon another that you care enough to think about getting a gift for. Surely they are at least semi-important to you and you might care about them at least a little bit. Happy Freak’n Christmas. Muahahahahahahahahah!

The hapless receiver will be going through the following ‘How do I choose the best use of this gift card? Do I buy something with it that will use it up? Should I save it to buy something later? Do I buy something that is more expensive and foot the rest of the bill? Do I buy something that I want or something that I need? Which will make me feel less guilty?. Maybe I should use this to by something for someone else?‘

All I have to say to you gift card buyers out there is ‘You sadistic and lazy bastards. Go jump in a hole.‘

Just so I can put this whole rant into in perspective for you. This Christmas we bought gift cards for everyone on our list. Have a great day. ;)

Category: Holiday, Humor  Leave a Comment

Normal or Perfect?

Thursday, December 27th, 2007 | Author: James O'Neill

Normal and Perfect? What exactly are these states of being? Are you normal or perfect? I am pretty sure I am not either of those. I am pretty sure that no one I know is. ‘Normal’ and ‘Perfect’ are artificial constructs created by humanity to inflict pain and suffering upon others.

Some would claim that these are useful baselines for comparison, but these ideals are key to creating divisive and hate filled lines with which we separate the ‘normal’ from the ‘not-normal’; those that choose not to hide their differences from these models, and those that do. No one would truly claim to be perfect, but some will not mind the pursuit of such and as well as separating the chaff from the wheat in the oft times violent process.

We need to forget whatever this normal and perfect is, because it is not. It does not exist and remembering and referencing it only hurts people and ruins chances for people to feel free and happy with themselves and others. These artificial and non-existent states are a bane to peace in the world.

I want someone to list what is ‘normal’ right now. I bet that you will get as many different answers as there are people that are thinking of answers. Normal and perfect will vary from person to person and culture to culture. Do not force others to conform to your world view because your world view exists behind those neat little rose colored glasses in your head. The only normal people are the ones you do not know very well. Joe Ancis

I’m done. I feel better now. Rant Finished. You can lock me up now. =)

Category: Life, Ministry, Politics  Leave a Comment

Christmas Review

Tuesday, December 25th, 2007 | Author: James O'Neill

Christmas Eve

Our Christmas Eve and the weekend was spent with my sister’s kids at my parents house. Tanya and I spent as much time with them as we could. We played Euchre, Rook, and Hearts for card games. This was the first time that my parents and Tanya and I had played Hearts and it is a lot of fun. We all derive some sort of a sadistic satisfaction by passing our worst cards over to our loved ones. These moments are great to foster love and nurturing feelings over a holiday together by screwing each other with the most heinous and vile cards you can muster from you hand! Muahahahah! =)

We gave the kids all of our gifts for them and their parental units to have for their present opening time as they left late on Christmas Eve. We sure do miss the munchkins when they are gone. =(

I had to shovel our driveway a little bit and that was a 2 hour ordeal that was tiring. I will have to buy a snow-blower some year. Ugghhh! Shoveling is one of the joys of home ownership that I could reeeaaaaalllly do without.

I also assisted Tanya in cooking deserts for Christmas Day at my parents house. We spent about 2 hours at the really bus Walmart shopping and fighting our way through the lines and about 4 hours cooking. Our cooking experience is as we could imagine persons cursed to never cook something right again. Everything went wrong. We started over at least twice and had to readjust the Belarussian recipe (which was given in grams and not cups) several times. Things just did not work out and we were tired and frustrated by the time we finished 4 hours later. Tanya was really cranky and frustrated. My poor little bundle of stress.

Christmas Day

I woke up early to go pick up Grandma and to take her to my parents house. During the drive there I called a bunch of people to say ‘Merry Christmas!‘ and ended up, as I do every year, inviting some of our friends over to partake in our family’s Christmas gathering. I had 4 potential takers and decided to stop at that.

After dropping my Grandmother off I then went home to take a shower and to prepare to go over there. We finished getting ready, got our stuff together and went over. Shortly after getting there at about 11:45 (11:45am) I realized that we forgot our camera and so I went home to get it while Tanya helped Mom with preparation.

Shortly after noon everyone had arrived and we were eating my mother’s excellent meal and our accursed deserts. They did not quite taste as they were intended so everyone tried and a few had a small helping for seconds.

Following stuffing ourselves we played a whole lot of Ping Pong and Euchre. It was a great time filled with great friends and family, just the way it should be.

Were we missing people that needed and wanted to be here with us? =( Yes, we definitely were. It is times like these that make us feel that loss ever more so than our everyday lives. Those people that are so very special to us and who we miss even when they are only in the next room. Maybe some day that hole can be be rather permanently filled or repaired as we conquer life’s most unfortunate situations and our own short comings and life’s curve-balls.

Category: Holiday, Life  Leave a Comment
« Previous Entries
Next Entries »