Gift Cards?

So, phlebologist we have this ephemeral gift for the lazy called the ‘Gift Card‘. Why would anyone inflict this scourge upon another especially during a holiday when we should be extolling love, family, friendship, and companionship. It is like saying ‘Here. Go buy your own damn gift as I cannot be bothered the moment or three to think of buying a real one for you.‘.

Oh, and it gets better. Not only does the giver not care so much, but the receiver has to take the time to pick out their own gift. They have to take the time to decide what to get out of the vast plethora of things that the store has to offer. The moral and intellectual quandry that this incites is painful and stressful. Why are you trying to inflict this state upon another that you care enough to think about getting a gift for. Surely they are at least semi-important to you and you might care about them at least a little bit. Happy Freak’n Christmas. Muahahahahahahahahah!

The hapless receiver will be going through the following ‘How do I choose the best use of this gift card? Do I buy something with it that will use it up? Should I save it to buy something later? Do I buy something that is more expensive and foot the rest of the bill? Do I buy something that I want or something that I need? Which will make me feel less guilty?. Maybe I should use this to by something for someone else?

All I have to say to you gift card buyers out there is ‘You sadistic and lazy bastards. Go jump in a hole.

Just so I can put this whole rant into in perspective for you. This Christmas we bought gift cards for everyone on our list. Have a great day. 😉

Category: Holiday, Humor
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